The Speech

 

Good Afternoon Ladies and Gentleman, friends, family and Mr. & Mrs. Dew. On behalf of Mr. and Mrs. Dew I would like to welcome you here today. It’s an honour for me to be chosen as Best Man in such a lovely country in such a pleasant setting, and I’m sure that it was a difficult choice as I’m well aware that the task I am performing could have been undertaken by several of Steve’s friends (ask Phil and Laz to stand). But I jumped at the chance as I was told I’d get a crack at the Bridesmaids, and if Tara thinks that Phil looks like Hugh Grant – then I must be in for a chance!

 

They say that life’s a lottery – if anybody could have put a dollar on two people crossing paths living three thousand miles apart, meeting up and falling in love, I thought that the odds would be very high. Steve, as we discussed, life is a lottery, and you have certainly won your jackpot. So Kimberley, for you love, your lottery hasn’t come up yet, so all the lads have chipped in and bought you a ticket for todays draw!

 

Well Kim, I know you’re quite worried about this part of the proceedings, so I have decided that I’ll pass the buck and hand the responsibility to somebody else. I have two envelopes in front of me – one was written in the UK – and the other was written at 4.00am this morning after returning from Shay Sherries with your brother Keith, Jack, Steve and the rest of the lads! So Kimberley, I am going to ask your mother Julia to make the choice so that none of the blame can be attached to me.

 

(Best man make Brides mother choose speech In envelope)

 (Best man drinks a whole pint of ale then burps down mic)

Well Kim – or shall we call you PUCK BUNNY? We now know why you are always asking Steve to take you to the ice hockey matches in Cardiff – Old habits die hard, eh!

 

Everybody who knows Steve will know that he works 24 hours a day, 7 days a week – doesn’t he Kim? Steve had a new venue open last night and hasn’t even rang to find out how things went. That must be a sign of true love. By the way Steve, it was 10, 728.36. It would have been a lot more, but all the biggest drinkers are here at your wedding.

 

Steve’s main vice that I CAN mention is football. And he is an ardent Leeds United supporter. So much so that we received a fax from George Graham, the Manager of Leeds Football Club, wishing you and Kim all the best. But he has asked if Kim could keep you away from now on, as they have lost all the games that they have recently played. So they now have a new lucky charm.

 

Another big agenda in Steve’s life is FOOD, and until Kimberley and Vicki started lodging at his house, where he had previously lived for two years, the girls went to cook a meal to find not only that there was no cutlery, but also no saucepans! On closer inspection, they also discovered that no groceries had ever entered that house, and they couldn’t work out how such a big eater as Steve, that this could possibly be true. Two weeks later and several late finishes from work, they discovered the answer. Steve has tabs running in every single fast food outlet between Brannigans and his home, and even on the odd night when Steve may fall asleep in the taxi on the way home, the driver knew exactly which venue to stop off at, whether it be K.F.C., the curry house or Kebob house!

 

Steve has always done most things on impulse. A big favourite that stands out was that after he had purchased his house, he took me along to help him furnish it.

 

1 shop, 1 stop – we did the lot! And all in 25 minutes! One small snag was when we returned with the furniture van, we discovered that of the items didn’t fit into the intended rooms, and as Kimberley will testify, it’s a great 3 piece suite, but 1/3 of it is still in the garage – unused! The dining room table is at a great angle. This is not Steve’s idea of interior design, but a necessity due to the table being 1 foot longer than the length of the room. Steve has a strange taste in beds. Once, when Kimberley was going to take a shower, she noticed a small pair of steps. Asking Steve what they were for, Steve explained that they were for Lazlo to get in and out of the bed when Steve was away on business.

 

Steve is a very emotional person and I’m sure that most of you who are meeting Steve for the first time today, will think of him as a confident and outgoing person. However, those of us that know him well - Steven John Edward Dew is a very caring, thoughtful and sometimes even shy person .. And although Steve is a large person, he has the heart the size of a bucket! And I’m sure that people that don’t know him, in time will easily understand the point I’m trying to make.

 

Steve, I have shared many a bottle with you. I know you’re going on a different route now and I’m sure that a lot of people here today will now be taking a back-seat ride with Kimberley now riding in the front seat. But we do all wish you all the best for your future life together. Steve, I have always thought of you as my big brother – and I always will. My mum and dad say that you can still come over for Sunday lunch and Kim will be welcome, but she will have to watch the Soccer with us!

 

Say how lovely the bridesmaids are looking, raise you glasses to bridesmaids please.

 

Thank Susie for her wonderful job with arranging the flowers.

 

Phil and Tony for preparing the cars.

 

Lisa for typing my speech. Phil and Lazlo for helping me to write this speech.

 

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